There are many topics I could have chosen. I had a post started which was a confessional of sorts. That and anything else I may wish to post must take a backseat to my need to rant. If I don't get this off my chest I may throw my laptop out of the window, chunk my IPAD in the creek and permanently go off the grid. Honestly! I am defeated by things of a technological nature. I am of the intuitive variety. This means that anything I attempt to change, utilize correctly or conjure up on my laptop or IPAD takes time. Lots of time. Frequently I give up and take the simplest way possible. I intuitively know when to quit. The groundwork is being laid for you, the reader, to understand, while I use a computer for hours in a day on my job and while I can navigate well enough to do what I mostly want to do I am by no means a teacher of this craft. SO!! I have an 85 year old mother who has been using her computer for some years now. Mostly checking e-mails, playing some games and wondering from time to time what else she could do but never pursuing it.
I got a Kindle. Mom watched me with it and she bought a Nexus. This is where my world went to computer hell. Computer terminology is lost on an 85 year old woman. There are multiple upon multiple decision points to perform most of the tasks on a tablet or a computer. Little decision points. Try and count them as you work on your laptop or tablet. They are, for the most part, second nature to many of us. My mother, did I mention, has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder...mild...but present nonetheless. Teaching her to use her Nexus has been like teaching a fish to ride a bicycle. O.K. She has learned more than a fish will ever know about a bicycle but I believe I make my point. Every day there is something new that doesn't work, doesn't make sense or follow in logical order to my mother's way of thinking. Frequently she blames it on the never seen "they" who live in the computer and the Nexus and have now also inhabited her IPAD. Yep, that is correct. I was given an IPAD. Mom's nearly 80 year old sister has an IPAD. She sent my mother the money to get an IPAD. This is a type of diabolical plot. It is one of many that have followed me in my life. This one may send me, at long last, to the looney bin for a 28 day stay. YA WANNA KNOW WHY?? I'll tell you why!! MY MOTHER WANTS ON FACEBOOK. Her sister wants her to get on Facebook so they can talk to each other and send things to each other and I am dripping with sarcasm and venom at this point in this post because my mother could fly a jet airplane upside down faster than she will ever understand Facebook. After all, this is the woman who was shocked when SIRI, the woman who speaks through the IPAD, appeared in the middle of one of our "training" sessions. Yep! Siri! My mom asks how does she talk to all the people who have IPADs at the same time. When I told my mom, "Say your name!" she leaned in close to the IPAD and said, "Say your name". If I'm lying, I'm dying." Well, we laughed so hard I was close to being sick as mom and Siri danced around with each other for a few minutes. They have not made any advancement in their relationship. I don't see it in their future.
But Facebook, oh yes, she is now a proud Facebook user. User? She has an account. She accesses that account when I am not around. She saves up questions for me. She wants to know why her e-mail is on Facebook but not in her email account. This took me awhile to grasp. Facebook was sending her notifications of the people clamoring to friend her. Mom spooked. How did they know her e-mail address? To make it worse, her computer thought those e-mails were suspicious so they were red. GASP! Red e-mails from Facebook that were not showing in her e-mail on the IPAD. Why not? Why was her e-mail going to the wrong place? She would never learn. She is old and shouldn't even try but her sister wants her to and..."Stop! Stop a minute! Who is that in that picture?" She thinks it is a woman she knows from years past. It is an ad or something of Ellen Degeneres giving her bride a big kiss on the lips. Yep! And why doesn't she have a picture showing when her Facebook is up? I should put one there immediately. She wants one. Who would want a blank space where your picture should be and please make it one that is as flattering as possible. Her friends will be seeing it. And..........I got home at midnight tonight. I am going to quit and watch the second episode of the new House of Cards.
Y'all have not heard the end of this saga by any means. Misery loves company!
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Sunday, February 2, 2014
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