Here I am again. Been gone a bit. I had surgery on my left hand for carpal tunnel and will have the right hand done on the 30th of the month.
What did I learn from the first surgery? Coming out from under anesthesia with a raging case of restless legs is not fun. None at all. I thought I was going to lose it right there in front of the nurse and a heavily sedated male mumbling in the bed to my right. WHAT!? Did I just say the guy was mumbling in the bed next to me? No curtain? I just realized I was lying nearly within reach of a man when I came out of the haze and felt my legs doing the nerve dance from hell. DANG!! Is that copasetic? I don't think so. I need to ask that question.
Well, he had no idea I was in the world because whatever they gave him was the GOOD stuff. He was talking and all that but he was not "home". Really?? I cannot get past the fact that I was in the bed, waking up from surgery and a man was in a bed in full view (not that kind) and he was on my right. I think I was trying to talk to him. That is embarrassing. I have caught myself off-guard!
Another lesson...it takes more than three days for me to recover from the surgery experience. I heal slowly. I know that but I pay no heed. I'm going to do differently for the next surgery. That is my plan anyway.
I have amazing friends. They treat me with love and a modicum of respect! Heavy on the love and a lifted eyebrow on the respect! No! I tell a lie. They respect me. My girlfriends are my family. I am blessed.
In true ADHD fashion, I had a flash thought of the beautiful white cat in our neighborhood who is feral. I, the infamous cat rescuer, want to help this beautiful creature. Snow white from stem to stern. My cat charming skills need to involve food. Do I want to go down this path again? Car kitty has a wonderful home now. He is a genius level cat who makes his home in any situation. No, he claims his home. No fear. No hesitation! Unique personality. It will be a long time before I meet the likes of him again. But this white cat is a cat of a different matter. I have decided. I will charm this cat and, one day, find it a good home. I will keep my progress here.
I will not, as I did on another occasion, grab this cat and try to bend it to my will. That moment in the past was a case of mistaken identity. I thought it was my cat. I was wrong. I was winning the struggle but was defeated when I finally understood what my husband was trying to tell me. "That's NOT our cat!" What? Not our cat? You have heard of catch and release. I released seconds ahead of getting myself flayed open by a surprised, confused and pissed off feral cat!
That last part is a metaphor for my life. Mistaken identity. Holding on despite the obvious. Letting go just ahead of all hell breaking loose!
As if I need to borrow chaos, right?
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Friday, December 4, 2015
Wee Hours of Friday Morning
Gratitude is a Thing of Beauty
I am grateful for the little fan that keeps me cool as I work from home.
I am grateful for the electricity that powers all of the amazing stuff that lights up the room, heats or cools the room, powers the laptop, heats the stove and cools the refrigerator. Electricity rocks.
I am grateful for water, hot and cold, running, thirst-quenching, life giving water.
I am grateful for the freedom to worship Jesus Christ with people who love me and who demonstrate the love of Christ in their lives.
I am grateful that I can sense another person's pain and, if God ordains, draw close to that person and share their pain and love them in their pain.
I am grateful that other people have shared my pain and loved me. They are the "way showers" in my life.
I am grateful for a pen with ink in it and a printer full of paper and a chair that sits well.
I am grateful for these and so many more things...so many more that I do not know when I would finish the telling.
The world is in turmoil. Each day I am confronted and challenged by the intensity of suffering that exists in our own small town.
I am grateful for the peace that passes all understanding.
I am grateful that His grace is sufficient.
I am grateful to have been set free. Once I was blind but now I see.
Time for bed. I am grateful I have a bed and a roof over my head!
I am grateful for the little fan that keeps me cool as I work from home.
I am grateful for the electricity that powers all of the amazing stuff that lights up the room, heats or cools the room, powers the laptop, heats the stove and cools the refrigerator. Electricity rocks.
I am grateful for water, hot and cold, running, thirst-quenching, life giving water.
I am grateful for the freedom to worship Jesus Christ with people who love me and who demonstrate the love of Christ in their lives.
I am grateful that I can sense another person's pain and, if God ordains, draw close to that person and share their pain and love them in their pain.
I am grateful that other people have shared my pain and loved me. They are the "way showers" in my life.
I am grateful for a pen with ink in it and a printer full of paper and a chair that sits well.
I am grateful for these and so many more things...so many more that I do not know when I would finish the telling.
The world is in turmoil. Each day I am confronted and challenged by the intensity of suffering that exists in our own small town.
I am grateful for the peace that passes all understanding.
I am grateful that His grace is sufficient.
I am grateful to have been set free. Once I was blind but now I see.
Time for bed. I am grateful I have a bed and a roof over my head!
Friday, November 27, 2015
My Sorrow With A Smile
Those of you who know my life well will get this choice of song!
It is dedicated to "the man at the end of the trailer"
Whom I Love!
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Like Gangbusters
YIKES! I am becoming a part of the consumerism I so heartily denounce. HSN is ruining my personal vision of myself and I am letting them so they will pay me. Where did the old me go and so quickly, at that!? One minute I am arrogantly proud of my lack of consumerism and the next I am squarely in the midst of it. Order after order after order. I get a picture of that scene from I Love Lucy when Lucy and Ethel are working on the assembly line at the candy factory. I will post it tomorrow. If you are a friend of mine and you can hold that thought until tomorrow then more power to you.
Oh but my duplicity does not end with HSN. I cannot even fish because I cannot bear to kill the fish and I cannot be near a cooler on the pier if the fish are thrashing around in their death throes. But I can eat fish and beef and chicken and pork. I just can't kill it. What does this say about me? Lawd a'mercy! My hypocrisy knows no bounds!
But it started years ago when I went to work on the military base and found myself counting, packaging and eventually ordering parts that were being made for implements of destruction. It took awhile for me to get the awareness that I was working for a part of the war machine and, oh me, as time went by I became an avid hawk. Dare I say it? All those years of hearing story after story of heroism, understanding how those beautiful war helicopters and aircraft performed and watching young men go off to foreign countries and them depending on us to do our jobs well. Our jobs saved lives. Our jobs took lives.
So what does that make me....A consumerism freak with a penchant for flesh and war mongering!! I am an AMERICAN! Hurray for the red, white and blue!
Oh well, I secretly love film noir and I do not kill any pest that stays out of my house or is not harming me, i.e. ants, spiders, snakes, etc. I leave spider webs intact. I talk back to an owl when he is in town and I carry on conversations with my cats. They win every single argument or test of wills.
The world is a wild and many splendored thing. Carpe Diem! Tomorrow I celebrate thanksgiving and then I get on the phone and sell, sell, sell!
Oh but my duplicity does not end with HSN. I cannot even fish because I cannot bear to kill the fish and I cannot be near a cooler on the pier if the fish are thrashing around in their death throes. But I can eat fish and beef and chicken and pork. I just can't kill it. What does this say about me? Lawd a'mercy! My hypocrisy knows no bounds!
But it started years ago when I went to work on the military base and found myself counting, packaging and eventually ordering parts that were being made for implements of destruction. It took awhile for me to get the awareness that I was working for a part of the war machine and, oh me, as time went by I became an avid hawk. Dare I say it? All those years of hearing story after story of heroism, understanding how those beautiful war helicopters and aircraft performed and watching young men go off to foreign countries and them depending on us to do our jobs well. Our jobs saved lives. Our jobs took lives.
So what does that make me....A consumerism freak with a penchant for flesh and war mongering!! I am an AMERICAN! Hurray for the red, white and blue!
Oh well, I secretly love film noir and I do not kill any pest that stays out of my house or is not harming me, i.e. ants, spiders, snakes, etc. I leave spider webs intact. I talk back to an owl when he is in town and I carry on conversations with my cats. They win every single argument or test of wills.
The world is a wild and many splendored thing. Carpe Diem! Tomorrow I celebrate thanksgiving and then I get on the phone and sell, sell, sell!
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Wild Ride!
First shift of a new job as an at home sales agent with HSN - The Home Shopping Channel. Feeling a wee bit nervous about taking orders for the first time. I have been working from home for about 2 1/2 years. Compared to my first day of at-home work these nerves are a breeze.
Alrighty then! Back to back calls. Hang up and phone rings again. One customer after the other and no two calls are alike. Oh the orders are often the same as the special value is popular. But the questions that arise are all different and I am winging it. I am using a laptop that is a little small for the job which hindered me at first. What really brought me up short was finding answers to the questions. Our training was adequate. There were no mock calls. No information on how to transfer calls so one lady hung up but not before taking my name. Her sense of humor was taking the evening off, I guess. I am suppose to have access to a chat line with people who will provide me with guidance but that was not working correctly so I closed out of the entire operation and called for help. I got an answer. When I, with great confidence, followed the answer I realized it was a partial answer. I am pretty sure I hung up on a nice customer. But, I rallied and took the next call.
Once I learn the ropes I am going to love this job. I love customers. I enjoy looking at the items with them and choosing colors, payment options and all that good stuff.
Still, tonight was a wild ride. HSN was selling an unbelievable amount of an entire closet organizing set of hangers, bags. There was a veritable feeding frenzy for this sale. When they ran out of that item they took $30 dollars off the price of two women's bags that were to die for, in my humble opinion, and those were flying out the door when my shift ended.
Learning all the special offers and the special, special offers is going to be tricky. Customers who are difficult to understand keep things interesting. I am certain I was interesting. Nothing ventured, Nothing gained!
Darn, if I was drinking this would be a great time to find a bar and knock back a couple and bask in the glory of the total relish for consumer goods flowing over the phone lines and websites. Unfreaking believable!
I plan to work for HSN. I won't deny that I immediately saw the belly of the beast tonight. MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! Each "special" item tossed to the audience is like a huge bucket of chum tossed into the sea. The sales force are masters at drawing the viewers into a purchase. WOW!!
I gotta find something to sell!
Alrighty then! Back to back calls. Hang up and phone rings again. One customer after the other and no two calls are alike. Oh the orders are often the same as the special value is popular. But the questions that arise are all different and I am winging it. I am using a laptop that is a little small for the job which hindered me at first. What really brought me up short was finding answers to the questions. Our training was adequate. There were no mock calls. No information on how to transfer calls so one lady hung up but not before taking my name. Her sense of humor was taking the evening off, I guess. I am suppose to have access to a chat line with people who will provide me with guidance but that was not working correctly so I closed out of the entire operation and called for help. I got an answer. When I, with great confidence, followed the answer I realized it was a partial answer. I am pretty sure I hung up on a nice customer. But, I rallied and took the next call.
Once I learn the ropes I am going to love this job. I love customers. I enjoy looking at the items with them and choosing colors, payment options and all that good stuff.
Still, tonight was a wild ride. HSN was selling an unbelievable amount of an entire closet organizing set of hangers, bags. There was a veritable feeding frenzy for this sale. When they ran out of that item they took $30 dollars off the price of two women's bags that were to die for, in my humble opinion, and those were flying out the door when my shift ended.
Learning all the special offers and the special, special offers is going to be tricky. Customers who are difficult to understand keep things interesting. I am certain I was interesting. Nothing ventured, Nothing gained!
Darn, if I was drinking this would be a great time to find a bar and knock back a couple and bask in the glory of the total relish for consumer goods flowing over the phone lines and websites. Unfreaking believable!
I plan to work for HSN. I won't deny that I immediately saw the belly of the beast tonight. MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! Each "special" item tossed to the audience is like a huge bucket of chum tossed into the sea. The sales force are masters at drawing the viewers into a purchase. WOW!!
I gotta find something to sell!
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Saturday, November 14, 2015
And Acceptance Is The Key...Blah, Blah, Blah!
Writing the title for this blog required me to suppress the feeling that I was being facetious about a sacred concept among a group I attend. I struggled for a half a second and decided that one more act of being politically correct for the sake of avoiding condescending looks and remarks would put me over the edge. Over the edge meaning I could go around people intentionally blurting out politically incorrect phrases while laughing hysterically. Goodness knows the rules of "what to say" and "how to say it" could fill a volume. Not to mention, although I am mentioning, that the time and place and tone of voice also carry weight. "Unspoken things" can place one in the middle of a moment when silence ensues followed by the beginning of a conversation or conversations about motive, lack of tact, "what were you thinking"! And, in my experience, the liberal minded are the narrow minded. I dare not respond to a liberal rant, on facebook or in conversation, with anything that smacks of an "opinion"! No, I need to correct myself; Anything that differs with their opinions.
Every topic of conversation can bring out censorship and smug side conversations...oh, I am so weary with it all. If this is what liberal looks like then where are the authentic liberals? I had no idea this topic was hanging out in my psyche. I can say whatever I want to say, of course. No one has censored me to this point. Why am I spun up about it?
I have been daydreaming of far away places.
The indelible repetition of the"J.D. Wentworth" commercial on t.v. has created an incessant repetition of their song into my brain. Perversely enough, I only remember part of the song but it has planted itself into my psyche. I sing it randomly and robustly. The actors sing that song robustly. Unfortunately this little diddy might come to life in me while shopping or in a meeting or anywhere. I have blurted out the song when with other people and they have no clue about "J.D. Wentworth". I don't even know what kind of business they are in...lawyer or loan sharks. It is one of those two. Oh, I just heard a piece of the song, "...and I need cash now!!". They are loan sharks. That is worse. That is much worse. I have a loan shark's advertisement song stuck in my head. ARGH-H-H! Say it isn't so!
Meanwhile in a tiny tea room someone, somewhere is preparing to enjoy the flavor of an exotic tea. The room is dimly lit. Although it is mid-day and the sun is high in the sky the tea room is darkened. Outside the hot,humid air confounds any effort to seek relief. In the tea room the air holds a mixture of exotic spices. It flows through the room in gentle, undulating swirls. An old, large fan with blades the shape of huge palm leaves turns overhead. Conversation is hushed. Time slows. Deals are cut. Love is found. Love is lost. And so, someone, somewhere cradles a cup of fragrant tea, brings the rim of the cup to their lips and quietly, delicately draws the first sip into their mouth. The pleasure is sublime, hypnotic and unique. Ah-h-h! Someone, somewhere
Every topic of conversation can bring out censorship and smug side conversations...oh, I am so weary with it all. If this is what liberal looks like then where are the authentic liberals? I had no idea this topic was hanging out in my psyche. I can say whatever I want to say, of course. No one has censored me to this point. Why am I spun up about it?
I have been daydreaming of far away places.
The indelible repetition of the"J.D. Wentworth" commercial on t.v. has created an incessant repetition of their song into my brain. Perversely enough, I only remember part of the song but it has planted itself into my psyche. I sing it randomly and robustly. The actors sing that song robustly. Unfortunately this little diddy might come to life in me while shopping or in a meeting or anywhere. I have blurted out the song when with other people and they have no clue about "J.D. Wentworth". I don't even know what kind of business they are in...lawyer or loan sharks. It is one of those two. Oh, I just heard a piece of the song, "...and I need cash now!!". They are loan sharks. That is worse. That is much worse. I have a loan shark's advertisement song stuck in my head. ARGH-H-H! Say it isn't so!
Meanwhile in a tiny tea room someone, somewhere is preparing to enjoy the flavor of an exotic tea. The room is dimly lit. Although it is mid-day and the sun is high in the sky the tea room is darkened. Outside the hot,humid air confounds any effort to seek relief. In the tea room the air holds a mixture of exotic spices. It flows through the room in gentle, undulating swirls. An old, large fan with blades the shape of huge palm leaves turns overhead. Conversation is hushed. Time slows. Deals are cut. Love is found. Love is lost. And so, someone, somewhere cradles a cup of fragrant tea, brings the rim of the cup to their lips and quietly, delicately draws the first sip into their mouth. The pleasure is sublime, hypnotic and unique. Ah-h-h! Someone, somewhere
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