I Hate It When The Shrink Makes Sense and Corporate America Can Take A Hike

Lately I have been challenged to lose weight and to eat different foods designed to help me avoid diabetes. I have also been advised to change my sleeping habits or my lack of sleeping habits. I am told that my habits are a viscious cycle destined to bring significant harm to my mind and body. I agreed, with my customary enthusiasm, to the challenges and the admonitions. I agreed to set goals and strike out onto a new path. My mouth said yes. My heart said, "Hell No!" Before I left the dietician's office she suggested I talk to my shrink (he isn't actually mine. i rent him.) about my tendency to eat to cope with my emotions. Just to clear things up: I feel sad and depressed when I think of planning meals and changing habits. I want to be healthier and I sabotage that desire at every turn. Same with the sleep only I don't really want to change my sleeping pattern. The problem is that I am not sleeping and that is dangerous to me in a multitude of ways.

So, I go to the shrink and I tell him the deal and he has heard it before from me and we talk about my emotions and the satisfaction I get from eating rather than allowing my feelings to be exposed. I have real life situations that require me to sacrifice some pretty cool areas of life. I do this willingly and by choice but, per his shrinkness, I pay the piper by supressing and denying vital parts of my make-up. The end result is that I eat. Pretty much the same with sleep. It sucks.

My shrink painted a picture of my future if I choose to continue on my current path. It was not pretty. I tend to live exactly where I am at any given moment. I rarely plan for the days and weeks to come. This response to life has cost me a dear price yet I seem powerless over it. But I want to be healthier and to be around for a much longer time and to enjoy life. Same with sleeping habits. My shrink's advice?

SUCK IT UP AND JUST DO IT!

His word picture of my future got through to me. Tomorrow I begin sucking it up and doing it! I will see him more often and he will see less of me as I begin to lose the weight, eat better and exercise a bit. Behavior modification. No fancy words of wisdom or plans other than "do it". With my heart and mind on my future self I will make the changes. All of my life I have sabotaged my opportunities and taken advantage of my own self. I do not want to reap from that harvest anymore. I have to suck it up and just do it!

As far as corporate America...BAH! HUMBUG! I work from home. I had an additional job opportunity. I took all the training, checked frequently to ensure I was eligible and yesterday was told that I did not complete the training. For a month they have been telling me that I completed the required training and would hear from them soon. Now they tell me they have no record of me completing the training and I am no longer eligible for the opportunity. Working from home is wonderful and it is frustrating. There is no office with the boss sitting at his desk. My bosses are on chat or e-mail or phone. A personal connection is difficult to build in that environment. So I have sent an email to the "establishment" stating the truth and I hope to hear a positive response. It is as much about the principle of the thing as it is about the job. I have never ever, never ever done well when someone exercised authority over me. Not an admirable trait but it is mine until I build a trust in someone.

Tomorrow is a new day. My first step towards my future starts in the morning to come.

There is an old saying, "Take it easy, greasy, ya got a long way to slide."  Ready! Set! Go!