Begin Again

Spring arrived before I felt winter. Winter must have happened or maybe it was just cold rain, day after day after day. I wonder if life can go by even faster than it does now. I could meet myself leaving an appointment before I arrive. My life is full and focused on meeting needs, anticipating future needs, lost in an overwhelming array of data. There are people who organize well. Prioritize well. See the big picture well. I am not one of those people. The requirements on my time, need to focus, plan, prioritize require an incredible amount of mental energy for me. I am a smart woman. I can do many things well. Yet I am at a point in my life where I am avoiding the thinking parts and living in the reactive parts of daily events. Oddly enough, to me, at least, I have a calm that arrived recently, on the heels of what appeared to be an impending nervous breakdown. God works in my life twenty-four hours a day. He worked out this calm thing. He has not, as yet, given me the organizational part. I am calm despite the chaos and sneaking suspicion I have that important things are going undone. They go undone while I look for my keys, my purse, a shirt to wear, shoes, that bottle of ketch-up I know I bought at the store. The list is long. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the past two years. Stress exacerbates the symptoms of ADHD. I can bear witness to that sentence.
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday. I celebrate the Risen Christ. Easter Sunday is special because it has always been special. When I met Jesus Christ as a living God and knew Him as a reality in my current life; not an idea or a concept but a real, living Jesus, Easter became a remembrance opportunity. The reality that Christ is risen is an every day reality for me. He is as much a part of me as my DNA. He is risen, made manifest, living now, at this moment, in me and around me and for me. When I met Jesus in this reality I became alive. I became resurrected in the sense that I died to myself and became a bond servant of my Lord Jesus Christ. Easter is a remembrance. Maybe more of a birthday of Jesus than Christmas is for me. When Christ chose to die and was resurrected He became the Christ I serve today. My life in and with Him is far from a cake walk. I am challenged, unsettled, often straining to be full of my own will over my surrendered will. Life with Christ is vibrant, breath-taking, life more abundant than I could ever imagine. Abundant with the love and surrender of my will to His. Come Lord Jesus! Happy Easter, friends!