It was bound to happen. I stopped going to meetings because (fill in any excuse the results will be the same). I worked more hours than two doctors recommended that I work. I made a habit of staying up until 2 or 3 in the a.m. In short, I took the path most chosen for quite some time now. Things went well for awhile. I was going to church and church is one of my favorite places to be and I seemed to be hanging in there through stressor after stressor. My pastor's wife had also warned me that I may benefit from following suggestions that were meant to help me. But, you see, I know too much for my own good. I, 100% of the time, will push the envelope. And, for awhile, I was o.k. I was proving to myself that I could manage just fine, thank you very much. The road ahead was rugged but nothing I couldn't handle. Then, as if by magic, the road dropped from under my feet and a great chasm opened up. I know this chasm. I have been in it before. I am not a fast learner nor am I particularly wise when it comes to my decision making. So there was the chasm and I was falling into it. Tumbling further down each day, spiraling out of control, nothing looked the same, life had taken a sudden and terrifying turn that took me over the edge at the end of road most chosen.
I became anxious, overburdened, unable to cope with the simplest of stresses, full of self-pity.
Revisited this draft of a post I began awhile back...good news...I started attending meetings and resting more and traveling the road less traveled again and I am no longer spinning out of control. Imagine that!
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