I have been 64 years old for two days. If I live as long as most of my family I have 31 years left on this earth. More than likely I have about 20 years to go given a few of my life decisions in earlier years. I am living on the downhill slide. Mortality looks back at me when I look in the mirror. Oh, in case "downhill" seems to imply a negative perspective, rest assured, I simply mean to convey the well known fact that time passes faster as we grow older. The slide part just reminded me of a recent moment in the gym. The poor trainer who was assigned to me showed me an exercise that he literally uses one of those furniture sliders to perform. He looked darn good doing that exercise. I looked like an elephant who stepped on a patch of black ice. He suggested we use a machine for the time being. I thought he was brilliant.
So what does this mean to me, I ask myself, just to hear myself, because I am, after all, the best person to advise myself. "YEAH. RIGHT!" "Hey, you be quiet and let me talk." Excuse the brief moment of chatter. My mind scattered a bit. Fact is that I am too sleepy to write at the moment. Remind me to pick up where...
Day or so later...Well, I am over the 64 year old thing. It is just a number. Parts of me feel older. My brain does not feel older. I well remember my paternal grandmother giving me "what for" when I mentioned something about her age. She was in her eighties, mind you, and she informed me that her mind was as active as it had been when she was 19 years old but her body would not respond to her brain. That's about it in a nutshell. I am told that I inherited a great deal from this grandmother. At one time this caused me angst. She was eccentric in interesting ways. Strong-willed. Not beyond spinning a yarn with a bit of the truth in it and an intelligent woman who married a man who craved to farm. So they farmed. I now think it is just fine with me if I am a great deal like her. Physically she bequeathed nearly all of herself to me even down to the swayback. I have been told that I have a strong streak of the eccentric in my personality. Both of my grandmothers are worth emulating. They came through incredibly rough times. They were strong women. I am a strong woman. I don't necessarily want to be a strong woman. At times I would like to be able to crumble to the ground and give up but that ain't gonna happen because I come from a long line of women who do not give up. We ascribe to the quote most often attributed to Winston Churchill: "Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!" I am sure every part of the country has strong women but to my way of thinking southern women are, by far, the most stubborn, toughest women you will ever meet. Of course, if a woman is clever in the south, this will be veiled by her accent, her good manners and the wisdom to know when to stand her ground. WHAT THE HECK AM I TALKING ABOUT? Good grief, I have gone off on a tangent that is making me a tad crazy. My mind must be off on a journey it forgot to tell me it was taking. Well, the part about my paternal grandmother is certainly right on. The rest of all this stuff kinda ran off the road and into the field.
Darn it! 24 hours are not enough time for a day. It is healthy to go to bed at a reasonable hour. This is going to blow the heck out of my beloved 3 a.m. bedtime. I resent it. I honestly resent it but I have been spending time visiting a nursing home for a month now. The wisdom to know that health matters is clearer to me. But I don't have to like it and I don't...not one bit!
Do any of you get arbitrary threads of songs running through your mind out of nowhere like a lone truck on a long stretch of a desert highway? The one that just went through my mind...dang it...seems the key part of this entire paragraph is that it went through my mind. Must be out on the highway with that truck cause I cannot remember it now. Only thing I can think of now is Glen Campbell singing something about a rhinestone cowboy. Dominant desert theme going on here. Now I hear a thread of that song about tumbling tumbleweed which I believe has a great yodeling part in it but I could be wrong on that bit of info. I love to listen to western yodeling. (ADHD is a bitch!)
Good Night!
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