I Steal A Peek

This child has captured me from the beginning of his life. He did not allow me entrance for a time. He held me at bay with his need for his mama or his dad. But I would steal a peek at him and know that one day he and I would be the best of friends.

Time passed. Our moments together grew longer. I thought my heart would burst with pleasure and with joy. He would be the mailman and I would wait for him to bring the mail. He would ask for the hundredth time for me to read his favorite book called "Piggy Pie". His eyes would slowly close as sleep came softly to him and I, in that sacred moment, would steal a peek of rosy cheeks, long eye lashes and the patterned breathing as his chest rose and fell with deepening breaths.

The day he knew his dad was not coming back home to live, dear God in heaven, his pain and his sense of loss tore my heart from my chest. A helplessness like none I have ever known crushed my heart. He stood so small and crying said good-bye. I stole a peek and made a silent vow to stand in the gaps with him if God allowed. God allowed.

Today we rode to church together. Almost 10 years from the day he was born and 8 years from my vow. We laughed and talked and fussed over music. He spoke of a girl at school and we day dreamed a bit of summer possibilities. He knows I think he is wonderful. He knows that I will love him until forever. He gave me a grin, turned his attention back to the game he was playing and I stole a peek. My heart is full. Another peek and I am content to let him be as I drive to church.

God loves me some kind of good and he loves my grandchild in the fierce way that God loves children and that is when I steal a peek at the heart of my Father God. I am blessed to be a blessing.