Waxing and waning are two words that when said together cause me to fight a compulsion to quote lines from Monty Python and The Search for The Holy Grail or Elmer Fudd.
This is at least 6 times I have begun a post. I attempted a philosophical post. Silly me! I attempted a casual post. Boring! I attempted a stream of consciousness post. The stream ain't streaming. I stopped attempting. Gonna do it this time. For me. I cannot let my mojo walk off and find another home. And, I will confess, I have been trying to write with the people who may be reading this post in mind...a little. Not my original intent and I think it has blocked me because I am a natural born people pleaser. I am going to make an honest attempt to return to my original intent. The reality is that writing, like acting, is only one hnaad clapping without an audience. It appears that a small group of folks stop by and I like that and I need it. Ouch! I hate that admission. My job is to write free of knowing you are there and being happy you are there, see?
I need to get back to a character I birthed a few posts back. I think I titled it, "She Is Me". I could have titled it, "I Am It" , but there is a book, true story, about a man who grew up as "It". It is a disturbing and awful story of abuse. Why did I read it? At one time I was looking for an understanding and a validtaion related to personal issues. I do not read books in that genre now. And, I got over reading self-help books, diet books, extreme motivation books..well you get the idea. I read the Bible now and from an entirely different perspective because of the way the Bible is taught in my church family. My reading choices are ecletic. My music tastes are ecletic. I could make the title " She is Ecletic " but the character is not ecletic. Not by a long shot. It may be that my ecletic persona stymies my creativity. There would be truth in my opinion that ADHD, be it ever so humble, robs me of narrowing down my scatter-pattern. But, that's cool. It takes all kinds.
Would ya look at that clock? Time to begin the process of a gallant effort, on my part, to go to bed before daylight is beginning to appear through the blinds. Two nights in a row I slept four to six hours. Darn! Two times are not enough to establish a pattern or indicate a trend. Talk amongst yourselves.
Sweet dreams all y'all!
x
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