Cruise Along with Me in My Stream of Consciousness

my favorite way of writing is just to write with no thought of punctuation or capital letters or any apparent direction other than at the beginning when i invite you, the reader, to take a cruise with me on my stream of consciousness. so here i go or we go i don't have any idea if anyone other than myself will see this blog and it is important to me in some part of my rather large ego that at least one other person read it but the other part of me that has long gone off on a tangent doesn't have much concern about who sees what i write but rather does have concern that i stop putting off writing and just write for writing's sake. this is how i do this kind of thought evolving and moving on to other topics and coming back to the first topic without trying to follow the path. watching t.v. today for a short time during my break from work and seeing the distraught family members of the marines killed in that blast this week and seeing the suffering in the faces of the people who loved them tore at my heart and i can't watch much of anything like that as i identify immediately and do not come away unscathed but rather beaten up and there is so much of that on the t..v.and in the news these days with one horror following the other so that i am not even able to finish watching ARGO which i rented immediately and watched about one third of until the stress of the build up got to me and i paused it and it has stayed paused for two days at a dollar a day while i contemplate if i should watch the remainder of that movie. everyone said it was so very good and is taken from a true story and i do watch crime movies on t.,v. but this movie is based on real facts with real people having been in that situation so i don't know, i just don't know so i am getting off that train of thought and thinking of the beautiful blossoms i saw on the trees today. lovely just lovely and poignant in the fact that they are so temporary which actually adds to their beauty, don't you think...as does standing beside a mountain stream looking through the water at the rocks and pebbles and catching a brief glimpse of a fish as it flashes by headed down stream and a leaf that is caught in a small eddy close to the shore of the stream and in that moment remembering that the moment that very moment will never happen again...ever...never...thoughts too large for my head and possibly superfluous with all the truly important things to think about in this world but i also am learning that i think in pictures so when i ask a client to spell their first and last name for me when i am working and it is me on a phone and them on a phone and my computer and they don't say their name but simply begin to spell it i have a really difficult time getting the name down correctly because the sounding of the letters without the sounding out of the words creates an entirely different kind of reality for me. my mind immediately wanders off on one of the letters like was that a d or a b or a t and i get complicated impressions of the person on the phone and images flow through my head as i don't have the sounding of their name to pin me down to an image of that name so i frequently have to ask them to spell their name again and then they get just a tiny bit aggravated and i feel a little freaky because the name Lisa  when spelled rather than said makes no sense to me at all and i come to myself rather harshly when i realize that i have just made Lisa a complication but that is not nearly as difficult for me as when someone spells their name using the military alphabet...you know the "alpha" "tango", etc. jeez o'pete. i am really screwed then because my mind goes chasinsg after an alpha and starts doing the tango. the part of me that is attempting to be a professional is running around trying to grab the unruly thoughts so that i can make a name out of the code being spoken but let me tell you or let me tell me if i am the only one reading this post it is not easy grabbing those bouncing thoughts attached to the "alpha" and the "tango" while paying attention to the person on the other end of the line and having no idea what other letters he or she has spelled because i am grabbing at the first two letters of their name as they go rushing by in my head so for the love of me would they please say their name first and spell it second...huh??? This cruise has ended. Please step off the boat carefully. It would be lovely to have you join me again for the Stream Of Consciousness! Perhaps we will bring a picnic lunch, hmm-mm?