Spent a little time on the Wayfair website recently. my mind , once again, began to divide itself. One side absorbed the beautiful things for home decor and began planning to do this or that in our home. The other side of my mind giggled and smirked. It has been "never" that I have actually spent time decorating anything. The idea that I can is magical thinking. Decorating is not in my DNA. Enjoying other people's skills in that area presents me with opposing emotions. I love what they have done to their home and enjoy seeing it. I resent their expertise and bemoan my lack of skill in that area. Believe me, it is not in me to match colors, think about how to design a room to be comfortable or to even care. I would be perfectly happy living in a hotel or motel. But the Wayfair website tempted me mightily. Once in a great while I look at home furnishings and read articles on painting and planning a room. But it ain't happening. I cannot even put my hair up or use a curling iron with any degree of skill. What would make me think I could envision a room and design it? The truth is that, left to my own devices, my room would probably look like a bright, four year old made the choices. I don't think that is a bad thing but enough of my girlfriends have given me "the eye" on that idea so I am making the assumption that type of decorations for a 64 year old woman are not a step in the right direction.
My room looks more like a mad scientist inhabits it. But just a crazy ole grandma with a pinch too much of the 60's and 70's in her blood lives in that room. See, I can't give a toot about designing a room because I don't give a toot about it. I do like pulling out the low self-esteem, "I am not a good woman. I can't get past wanting to decorate my space like a kid's space." script once in awhile. Nobody listens anymore. They have heard it all before and just listen as I walk by dragging a doomsday kinda blues around with me. If I had the money I would hire someone to come in and design my house to suit each season. You know, rotate the décor in a professional "I learned this in school" manner. When a flying donkey and a flying pig pass one another over our property I will have the money to hire someon or maybe I will spend that money on a cool vacation spot or on a piece of property or I just might give it away. I might think of hiring someone and forget to think about it and then remember to think about it. But, by the time I made a decision the money would be gone. Oops!
Oh, sweet wonder! I stepped out of my mother's house last night, late at night, and Mr. Owl sang out from a perch in the nearby woods. Do you know how long it has been since I heard him? I thought he had moved out of town because of all the "people" activity in our area. And maybe he was just passing through...maybe he knew I needed him to spend an evening in our part of the woods and to hear him sing out into the darkness. His call was strong, melodious and beautiful! All I could do is smile to myself as that familiar since of oneness and comfort I feel with Mr. Owl filled my heart.
Tidbits from today - Sunday - been writing this post for a number of days. Not in any sort of order ( like my lifestyle )
1. On my way home from Sea Level this evening I stood on my brakes to avoid hitting three small possums. They scurried across the road at full speed. It was dark by that time. I mean DARK cause it is a country, two-lane road and I was in a stretch where no man-made lights ,other than the headlights of my car, shone. I never think of being in danger when driving at night. Well, maybe I did a couple of times on interstate highways in the wee hours of the morning. Interstates seem more sinister than country two-lane roads.
2. There was a post on Facebook with a night photo of a cougar in the woods. Someone had remarked that we probably did not have them in our area. Anyway, I clicked on the video and that darn critter let out the howl of a thousand cats, primal in intensity and frightening. My little cat, sleeping on the back of the couch behind me jumped a foot into the air and took off. Two of my other cats woke up fully and began looking in all directions for whatever made that insane noise. It was too funny but I had to apologize to the baby cat cause he thought he was living his last few seconds!
3. My grandson, nine years old, has decided to like rap music and to dance with his upper body while trying to sing along. Impossible since the words are coming so fast from the performer's mouth that only a couple of words even make sense. But I listened to about 20 minutes of that rap music and suggested he find some rap that did not have all the BIG bad words in it. Instead he found the world's fastest rapper and both of our jaws dropped. Not one word of that man's rap made any sense to me. Guinness Book of World Records were there with some kinda contraption to measure the number of words in one minute. It was over 3,000.Wowser!
4. Realizing that my house is in a horrible mess. I listened to a podcast about ADHD adults and their difficulty organizing and following through. The speaker offered techniques for those of us who are severely challenged in the organizational department. I thought how wonderful it would be to know where my stuff is after I lay it down. I will make a list! I will make a list I will make a list!
5. Realizing I am not mad or sick. I am just me. Phew! Feels good.
Done! Posting!
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