Happy New Year to all of you guys who read this blog! I think there may be about 7 of you on a good day. Not a bad showing for something I don't even remember the address to when I do want to tell someone about it!
So, first, and I just thought of this, I have a young member of "the program" mentioning to me that I need to be in meetings. Every conversation includes that "go to meetings" thing and I'm like "whatever" even though I know he is right. Even though I have been telling myself that for awhile now. It is having him tell me that brings out the rebellion in me which is one of the red flags telling me I need to "go to meetings". To those of us who are members it seems the entire world knows about meetings but I know that isn't true after many conversations with people who go "AA??" So, I'm like this....I'm gonna go to some meetings. What's the worst that could happen? I get in a better mood!?See that alone will rob me of drama that must be of value to me in some way since I have not treated it properly by "going to meetings" or praying about it that much. I'm a slacker right now. If you knew my life you would be like, "UM-m-m, girl, your house is on fire!" A little louder, "Girl, Your House Is On Fire!!" and then "GIRL! YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!"! If you worked what they call a "good program" you would, after the third attempt, watch me burn in the fire, because you aren't allowed to rob me of the dignity of making my own decisions. But, I don't feel as if my house is on fire. That alone may be a HUGE red flag! Are you following any of this because what I meant to write about was having Facebook withdrawal but I realized that only lasted about thirty minutes and I started feeling better shortly after those thirty minutes. So I dunno if I was as invested as I thought I was in other people's lives, dramas, opinions, recipes, cartoons, etc. Facebook has been my way of keeping up with my daughter and her family. I suppose now I will call once in awhile and actually speak to someone. I didn't have the time before because I was on Facebook. Faceless communications with connotations open for interpretation unless someone puts a "f" word in front of their statement and then you are suppose to know that what they are gonna say after that most versatile of words, is not going to be left up to interpretation because the "f" word is an entry word indicating commitment, investment, dedication to whatever comes next in the conversation. Often these conversations also consist of "like", "you know", "to be honest with you"...word fragments scattered throughout the conversation following the emphasizing "f" word. How do I know all this? Cause, "f", man, like you know, to be honest with you, I have done it before. That's how I know. And, that is all I have to say about Facebook withdrawal. Dang! What a ridiculous topic in the first place! Facebook withdrawal? As if...!
The New Year Word for me is Discipline! If you know me that is self-explanatory. If you don't know me but have happened onto this blog, my word for the year has nothing to do with bondage, ropes, chains, whips or other sordid connotations. I suppose an argument could be made that I am in bondage to my self. I will allow that thought to have life. It is true. This year I am going to practice discipling habits that have a negative value in my life. I am breaking that discipline right now since it is 1 a.m. and I am not in bed and asleep. Or I could be improving because it is not yet 3 a.m. with me awake fighting off a resentment that the night is not longer, that the sun will soon come out and spoil my perfectly good long evening! That I will, at some point collapse from fatigue and drift into hallucinations and a horrible, nasty mood figures into the picture. Sleep is vital. This is where discipline is required. For the better part of me to feel the love I want to learn the discipline of going to bed at a reasonable hour when compared to the hour that I will awake. Why is it that sweets put weight on my body and 3 hours of sleep just won't do the job? It is not fair. Really not fair. But, a wise woman once asked me, "Who said life is fair?" and I did not have an answer, of course. I know she is asleep at this very moment and will wake up tomorrow with clarity and that irritating and eternal joy she possesses. I want that, too. I just don't want to do the work to get it...oh rats! I am going to end here and get in the bed.I have shamed my ownself into submission.
I don't know where Mr. Owl has gone. I wish him well. I miss him.
Peace out, my friends! Love!
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