And so...

And so, I find myself entangled in a jumble of thoughts and emotions. It does not help that I am anemic, am recovering from something like strep throat and found out today that my right hand has very severe carpal tunnel and my left has severe carpal tunnel. The tests were interesting. First, both my hands and my arms had shocks sent through them. The deeper the nerve the more intense the shock. Then another person came in and stuck pins in my hand and arms. It was akin to intense acupuncture. After both of these tests the results were provided and the information sent to my doctor.
All the while it is raining day after day and the roads are flooding and my husband is calling me repeatedly from the rest home wishing I could come see him. He knows the roads are flooded but he is childlike and lonely, plus he says he has no clothes to wear and that the aides did not take his laundry to wash it. I find out later that he has a couple of outfits left and that his clothes were taken along with all the rest. But who's to know? He sounds as if he knows exactly what he is saying to me. He never realizes that he missed the boat on his information. He never sees the reversal of information as odd. I, on the other hand, am exhausted after numerous phone calls from him and making phone calls to the facility only to find out that he was "confused".
My son and his family are being evicted again and their car is broken down and I don't have the resources to help them fix the car so I am helping my son get back and forth to work, get groceries, etc. My heart is broken at the direction my son's life has taken. I don't have anymore money to help them. I have no way of understanding the psychology of their lifestyle.
My mom is 87 years old and, like Robert, remembers reality the way it did not happen. The difference is that she absolutely will not believe me when I tell her a fact that I clearly remember and she believes she remembers.
I feel tired, ill with anemia and the lingering crud. I feel sad and concerned for my family. I feel alone in my family. With the rain and the illness of my body my resources are in short supply. I am angry with my body for finding some path to sickness no matter what the circumstances. I don't understand and I am so tired. The doctor said I am about a quart low in blood. The begs the question of where did that blood go but I forgot to ask and I cannot imagine how blood gets gone.
I need prayer. If you read my blog and if you pray, please pray for my family and for me. Pray that I have the wisdom to know God's will and the willingness to do His will.
Good things happen all the time. I am blessed beyond measure. But I made a decision to write about the other stuff tonight. Get it out of my mind and onto paper (well, screen)...LOL.
Time to sign off. I need rest. It is raining outside. Sounds comforting now that I got things off my chest.