There are times in life when enough is enough. I am in one of those times. On every level I am exhausted, heartbroken and in need of solitude. I am so close to asking to be hospitalized. I realize this comes from a need to limit the stimuli in my life. So I plan to do that at home. Starting Wednesday of next week I am going to be at home for 5 days. I am not going to leave the house. I am only going to answer the phone for emergencies. I am going to allow myself to withdraw from my routines as completely as possible. Heartbreak requires healing time. I need for that to begin. I need to nurture myself and to seek time with God.
As is always the case there are blessings aplenty in my life. In the midst of the pain I am experiencing there are the tender mercies that manifest in quiet, loving ways. Tender mercies! Isn't that a lovely combination of two words? While I am at my lowest point the mercies are tender, gentle, nurturing and quiet. As I recognize them my sense of being loved in the most private of ways magnifies my soul. A sense of wonder fills me. I am loved and cherished by a living God who comforts me with the whisper of a tender mercy. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He restores my soul. Yea, thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death He is with me and I will fear no evil. My help comes from the Lord.
It is o.k. that, for this time, I am exhausted and heartbroken. I will find my way and I will never be alone. Already I am comforted and ready to begin my vacation.
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